82 EPILOGUE : ETERNAL LIFE

82 EPILOGUE : ETERNAL LIFE

Amazed, slowly, I started understanding the reason of those letters and recovering the quietude and calmness that always characterized my life, " my life ". Deceitful what is to write this simple phrase when one understands that there are multiple games of mirrors behind a simple image! When you know too much, the simplest things receive(charge) diverse meanings and can thrill you since(as,like) before a battle or a tormented late afternoon was doing it.
I listened to L., that spoke non-stop(steadily), do not be in how much time. I got lost in the vastness of his(her,your) words, as a small river that gets lost in the waters of an ocean; a made ocean of words and of recollections, of a foreign time that was starting being own(proper). My empty memory(report) now was fulfilling and exceeding … suffocating. There were getting up in my mind architectures and made worlds of words, other cities and another universe. Interior look, a new cosmos was opened before me. How did it(he,she) can a little so big to fit in something so minuscule? But if it(he,she) could, flat infinites fit in a bucket, and infinite universes in a conscience.
L. It(He,She) was entering me, displacing my own(proper) one I up to this negligible(very poor) and vague moment, until in this avernus I knew that L was I. His(her,your) world was the transmundo for that I looked and that was in my, forgotten. Now, it(he,she) saturates a precise(necessary) past that exceeds me and exceeds me. It happened to me when I conversed with L. what a lot of things changed this day! What a lot of irreversible trasformaciones I suffered when I found in the center of the Thecnetos this intolerable and heavy abyss! Now I live in him(it).
Though it(he,she) is also reasonable to focus this story differently also valid. Always there is another more exact and just way of focusing the certain, not like that things the false ones, which are damaged on having looked at them from another angle.
I was going away waiting, and I achieved to think finally in the snarls of the most distant future, in this arid and rare(strange) world that it is the Thecnetos. I was L and now I turn it to be, only that took one long trip to understand it. M returned to be born in the Emissary, there had born million before that I serving to the Thecnetos-
How much time would have happened(passed)? To verify it I did the first calculation. It(he,she) had to calculate the probability of which my molecule repeats itself germinal at random. This one has approximately 25 000 variable elements, each of these elements had approximately ten variations, so the number of possible combinations is of 10 raised up to the power 25 000. This so big number is also the number of different possible men, to that the humanity can give birth. The Thecnetos would have to throw(shoot) the dice 10,25 000 times in order that M and I - L - we were repeating ourselves, and how much time I take him to throw(shoot) these dice? Provided that a person creates the Thecnetos at random more or less once every century, the number of years since M and I die until we repeat ourselves must have been, 100x10 25,000 years, or 1025,002 years.
A number with so many numbers(figures) that quite manuscript this one would not manage to be able to write a fraction of him(it). I astonished at his(her,your) greatness. M had been reborn before, probably trillions of years before that I. Because of it the sky was the blackest and no star was distinguished; the space was already completely empty, already all the stars had died.
Such they were the amazing limits to which the humanity had come and this way of distant view one was finding M, but it(he,she) had managed to come up to him(it). And it(he,she) would give him(her) the letters.









83 LAST LETTER
M:
I emerged laboriously to the surface, then I left the ruins of the Oceanus, for these extreme landscapes of loneliness, began to walk and to look for yourself. Here I am, in this final late afternoon of the cosmos; one that it(he,she) began with an uproar and now it(he,she) gets lost in a sigh. But in my heart late still(yet) an immortal feeling, a banal drive probably: an eternal drive for the Emissary, that is to say, for you. In some region of the world you are now; probably still(yet) you ignore whom I am.

Yes, the Thecnetos exists. The life exists, only that has taken very different forms, still(yet) his(her,your) last sense preserves; only it(he,she) has changed his(her,your) structure, and is of hoping that this one changes once again. The eternal life is like that. On having said goodbye, I do not want to stop trying(meaning) an explanation even precarious of the Thecnetos: it(he,she) looks at your shade on the wall; you are you itself, but without face, without color, without voice, without volume, without life and without thoughts. But across this shade you can feel that you are.

The human thought - this monologue, for example - it is a very poor shade of the Thecnetos. He(she) imagines thus how his(her,your) intelligence whispers in the subsoil of the last planet; feel it in each of your thoughts …

Ah, The Emissary! One of these days I will find you between(among) the beautiful and distant landscapes of this world that gets lost; probably find you looking at the horizon with your exhausted and without foundation eyes, your still impassable eyes. What matters that the time is vast as the emptiness that surrounds me; million million years I have waited to be!

Do not be what plans the Thecnetos has now; this one has silenced forever. I am thinking about having understood that it(he,she) did not have any. But the Thecnetos is a way and not an end(purpose), and provided that I thought it, I might change it. I will be his(her,your) new Guardian. But it only I will do it after he(she) finds you. To begin my search, any part(report) is a good direction(address).

The first fodder to enter another hemisphere of the planet.
I am not driven to despair by the tireless landscapes that I cross and that appear one behind other one, always without an end(purpose) at sight. The million days do not intimidate me that step crossing deserts. Calmadamente I understand and register the world, am not afraid to resign of so much walking between(among) these ruins, it(he,she) matters for me to mislead or to eliminate me. Still(yet) if this way out, thousands of times it(he,she) might return to be, thousands of lives it(he,she) might seek and not to find anything. I might get lost in thousands of sad planets as this one, but I know that to the end(purpose), in one of these dusty trips, I have to find you.

L.




END








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EPILOGE II (OPTIONAL)




When I find he, The emissary already knew that it was M and that I was L. Deliver him(her) finally the letters that so many million years titubié in delivering. I saw it to read them affected. Later, looking grocer's shop of emotion, I exhale a deep sigh, being ruined with, as that there issue(emit) the persons who finally feel the immense relief of giant and child have come to house, after million years of wait, M fell asleep nearby to me, already insurance of which we would never separate.


END2