22 THE SAD TRIPS

22 THE SAD TRIPS
A trillion of trillions of years later …

Another letter, as a meteorite of the future, came a few days later and reinforced my interest of hurgador. Here it(he,she) is:
M.:
On my sadness of today,
The real kernel of the matter is
That you are not to my side looking with me at the ceiling;
That I have not come a bit late to start being united;
That you are not in an impatient point of the platforms hoping that I come;
That there will no be a corridor or a stairs in which suddenly they give us desire and let's embrace each other, and in this intensity that is the embrace sintamos the essential thing of us themselves and you assure of that not only we live in this house, but one inside other one.
The kernel of my sadness, this evening it(he,she) empties,
It(He,She) is that I begin to accept that we are two rivers,
Each one with his(her,your) own(proper) way towards the sea.
That the time that we still have before coming to the shade, will not be shared
Since I dreamed so often while it(he,she) was looking at you of distant view.
I have been exploring for your territories and have not found you, you have not fled of me, but you did not know that it(he,she) was covering you searching. But something makes me be afraid
That not only was a random this misunderstanding(mix-up) just between us;
That there was something of intention of your part(report).
Others will hear in the intimacy of one evening anyone these things that worry you so much.
And I will not be I who finds the words that encourage you, and will not harvest the pretty form in which your eyes smile.
In spite of the fact that I scare more than any thing to look for yourself,
In spite of the fact that I have a feeling that only you might give me
This embrace that does that one gets lost in the time, as you were saying.
Will not you be in my future?
If it(he,she) is like that, what little importance has the world that I still have.
Though with you
He(She) would wish more than never to live, To live forever.
The last explanation of my sadness and of my weariness this evening, is that still(yet) I waste my time dreaming you … L

Again this damned familiarity in me. A fleeting condition(state) of being in the time. Once spent(passed), it(he,she) could already neither identify it nor retain it. But it(he,she) could never understand it. I was wondering in what precise place of the last planet they were written and envoys these letters. It(he,she) had to travel up to this place. The one who was this L that he(she) them was writing, and who this M that was receiving them or probably, that was not receiving them? As if there was something prohibited or obscene in them, I was hiding in unattainable places to reread them. Though, thinking it well, what places are not in the last planet unattainable?
After the first letter I decided to explore the desert, thing that had never tried for dread of what they were enclosing. In these trips it(he,she) would look for new ruins and Mekhanes of maintenance, since the place already could not be used. I scare the trip so(then,since) the first thing that I found you them swim of the desert it was only the last floors(flats) of a building in the middle of an ocean of sand. In I slept produced after my walk along the surrounding regions: these were not ruins. It(he,she) had to continue.
I discovered later, that the ruins nearest to these were to approximately three weeks of way from here (in them I found the third letter). When it(he,she) comes to them first run up with very crowded buildings, so much that only of side I could walk between(among) them.
This way - they know since(as,like) all - to understand(include) a building it is necessary to see it a bit of distant view, but these are to few centimeters of the face. This way, also the world is to few centimeters of us, but nobody can approach successfully his(her,your) comprehension, like that be inside us same.
These ruins were dating back of before the extinction of the human company(society) (though not of the man), and of before the Thecnetos was taking the total control of the cosmos.
After a few hours(o'clock) of crossing the narrowest passages(tickets), the buildings were begun to destejer and to demolish. There were between(among) them a few very coarse and coarse bridges of stone that raise between(among) the modern buildings that were million more ancient years. They were, insurance, the work of a human Barbarian, already extinct culture, but that lived in an epoch later(posterior) to the death of the first humanity. Notice that they lived more as animals than as men in the last already empty planets. She was a beastly(great) humanity who coexisted or survived the birth of the Thecnetos, though only nearly time.
I discovered also in my visit to these unknown ruins, a few statues of stout men giving shouts placed in niches of stone, though the most surprising of this system of ruins they were a few statues populating another fragmentary amphitheatre.
They were hundreds of statues of massive men. Colossuses disguised by the wind of papers(roles) and of shreds of fabric. They were getting up to different levels, more or less concentric to a stony concavity. These human masses had the closed eyes, as if durmieran; but they were expressing a mysterious life, proving to be imperturbable, immobile, dry and nevertheless, alive(vivacious). She was a numerous cracked, but insensitive population to the pain of his(her,your) wounds of granite. Vagué between(among) this population of dynamic but still forms, only and anonymous as(like) always.
Without importing the varied positions and attitudes that they were representing (very dramatic some) all were keeping the eyes closed, as if they had been stopped(detained) suddenly by a paralizante cataclysm and remained turned since then towards yes same, in an intense and intimate thought; a thought that was needing an eternity of time to be solved.
I was thinking uncomfortably that at the end of this eternity they would find his(her,your) answers and would return to move his(her,your) heavy muscles and to breathe with his(her,your) vigorous torsoes. Probably it would happen at any time. While, they would remain paralyzed and I might walk insurance between(among) them. Though warily, probably already the world had spent(consumed) an eternity and they would return to the life suddenly.
Later, it(he,she) would know that in a sense, was not wrong.
The statues were repeating the only(unique) human form, the very different one to mine and to the rest of the current humanity. The bodies of the statues were drawn of big and beautiful curves, of strong and beautiful volumes that were producing a rare(strange) sensation of taste on having been conference, inexplicable phenomenon that he(she) accompanies always on everything what is beautiful. A mysterious association and without explanation, since there is no reason in order that the beautiful thing has to be also pleasant.
In addition I remembered(reminded) other one of these inexplicable associations: always I noticed that the beauty accompanies to all the pure and natural things, for what deduje for years the statues had to correspond(fit) to the forms of the men of the former humanity. To the prehistory. That one that forged the Thecnetos and later it(he,she) disappeared. Certainly, it is necessary to remember that in the planet the former humanity has to understand himself(herself) like the most finished and perfect thing, and the current one as the degenerate thing and degraded.
One of these enormous and beautiful men tape-worm one of the eyes erased(smeared) of scars and he(she) was sleeping leaned on a beast of marble. I had a little rest in him(it). Flooded with a lukewarm weariness, I closed the eyes emulating some kind of traviesamente to the night's sleeps statues, playing at being one of them and I took delight privately in the lukewarm temperature of the evening.
Taking(Catching) the hand of marble of the giant old man injury, I left myself to sleep for the weariness, and was like a ship that was left to sink(destroy) indifferently and intoxicated up to the darkness.
But, for between(among) the snarl of titanic bodies I perceived nabbed movements. A sordid thing was crossing fastly, that stony landscape. While, the giants were gravitating as dense stars of stone around me, in his(her,your) perfect and eternal immobility, inert(passive), but similar to the life. I do not know it, I believed then that this shade, these noises and these piedrecillas crumbling they were looking for me and that they were it that I was calling the Emissary.
Wanting to flee of this distaste, I huddled my transitory dream to the dream without pauses of the man of stone, produced of the long trek of three days. The statue was still immobile and calm, living through his(her,your) own(proper) dream without images or sensations. Of his(her,your) hand the world was going out and igniting other one, really my one, since the modern man only is singular on having slept, since in it it(he,she) neither looks like the others he(she) does not even share his(her,your) dreams either with the Emissary or with the Thecnetos. For him(it) only it is this universe of lie that they are the dreams. Because of it only on having slept the modern man legitimately is, and on having woken up already not. To the awakening he(she) dies.
Already my dreams were bursting in other dreams, as waves on other waves. I remember(remind) the last one of them, one appellant:
I dreamed that he(she) was finding the Emissary in my house and strangly it(he) was not been frightened. It(he,she) was finding it at the end of the corridor, looking for the window at an infinite to get dark. My dream gave human form to the Emissary. It(he,she) saw his(her,your) wide back, stillly opposite to this dusty Sun. In the dream I walked towards him(it), slowly and without noise in order that I was not obvious. Already near him(it) I extended my hand up to his(her,your) shoulder, and on having rubbed it with a finger - since(as,like) always it happened - softly I woke up.