50 VERV AND FLESH

50 VERV AND FLESH

A trillion of trillions of years later …

One more night in the monotonous kidnapping. This night we come to a promontory in the middle of the blackest desert. The ruins where we detained were higher than the rest and this way only they were receiving a tenuous light, while the rest was sunk(destroyed) in an ocean of dense blackness. We stop walking in them. Exhausted, I had a little rest between(among) the stones; amnesic of the world and of the same Thecnetos. The emptiness that endlessly he(she) was attending was invading me and infecting my thoughts.
Ah, this long trip! This place floats in the night of my memory(report) still(yet)!

While I was sleeping, the Emissary went to penetrate for the dark zone, out of the promontory. As if in this vague region it(he,she) could find the answers that he(she) needed! Something had woken up with that it(he,she) could not deal. Already he(she) had remembered... I woke up shortly after it(he,she) was leaving and wanted to spy on it, so I got up privately. It(he,she) had never spied on his(her,your) wake, only his(her,your) dream. The surprising things that this night I discovered of him(it), not only were in him(it), but also in me.
Across a worm-eaten wall, I could see it; it(he,she) had entered the wide desert and was advancing slowly for this glen. There I started looking at it differently. There was in his(her,your) voluminous passiveness the same beauty that that of the statues, but it(she) was not calm and cold as(like) in them, but another thing, probably dramatic art. On having looked at the Emissary, an inexplicable sensation woke up in me, not only of aesthetic pleasure, but also of displacer, even of pain. An aching pleasure.
Do not be, I looked at his(her,your) movements, his(her,your) nape, his(her,your) hands, tried to understand what thing it(he,she) was provoking in me this strange drive. I felt that a radiation was coming from him(it) humoral that was overawed up to the bones, but not only it was form and proportion the reason of this sensation that was disturbing(embarrassing) me.
I observed it in different positions, beautifully always from all the angles, perfectly in all the positions that it(he,she) was taking.
I felt fault(sin) for the rare(strange) exaltation that was experimenting; slightly ancient and visceral it(he,she) was crossing me, something that was merely physiological. I repeated myself, to remove these feelings that were suffocating me, that the Emissary was an inert(passive) being, as everything in the planet; the life, his(her,your) life, it(he,she) was not containing any "vital" or sacred property, was only an arrangement of substances simply consisted of matter. But this thought did not neutralize this upset longing that this night in me his(her,your) corporalidad was producing. It was a made imminence of meat through that only my meat was living and to his(her,your) meat it(he,she) was going.
But slightly more I observed that it(he,she) disturbed(embarrassed) me: the Emissary was taking very much moment strolling, as a man hesitating in a labyrinth. It(he,she) saw it for the first time, only with it(him) itself and was very different that indifferent when I was accompanying. There were not helping him(her) to go out of his(her,your) confusion his(her,your) titanic and evolved forms, so(then,since) fundamental I, yes same with the one that now to alone was situated, he(she) was lacking forms and these were not serving him(her) now you are welcome. I was sorry It to hesitate in his(her,your) stupor surrounded with this total night. I noticed that it(he,she) was experiencing the vastness and the cold; to see it age as(like) seeing a missed astronaut and resigning itself(himself,herself), surrounded with distant and heavy spheres.
The black landscapes of the planet were to the bottom(fund), blurred by the frozen fog. Every pedacito of the desert had been a fixed assets for this mortal cold and the blow of the wind was resounding in different points of the world, making it more uninhabitable still(yet). Any absolute silence, every dead man. I noticed after his(her,your) figure how there was raising the black planet, which - I never understood it - only was visible in the nights. This enormous black world was making see the colossal Emissary as a minuscule particle. Ah! All the time is now there, in this second of my memory(report)!
In the assembly(montage) of a humble second so many things take part: the whole universe it is necessary to spend and lose to mount one only I come second. Every instant has the thickness of the same cosmos. Of all these things, I remember(remind) the sheen of the cold stones, the big hollows of darkness between(among) the rocks, the black planet and the Emissary at this high hour of loneliness.

I see now with the clarity of the present the Emissary stopped between(among) this you swim, hesitating opposite to the reality, without at least to be able to imagine what would happen(pass) in his(her,your) brain, so differently to my.
Without any sign that was clarifying his(her) what was he(it) feeling, I looked at it a few minutes eternally in his(her,your) humanity. He(it) was meeting the palms of the hands, while this enormous black esfericidad was giving him(her) the back. Then one covered the face with these hands and remained like that a good moment resisting a sob that was getting stuck(getting into a jam) in his(her,your) throat.

Later one discovered the eyes and threw(added) a look driven to despair to the lack of forms of the night.

I felt in this minute that I understood something but not of the usual form, or, dialectical, but of other one; the untranslatable one in words, while it(he,she) saw that the Emissary was not solving the doubt that was paralyzing in the middle of anything.